Sunday, February 11, 2018

[Land of Nog] The Yodeling Yolbum



My friend Nick and I have been discussing collaborating on a project. I'll write blerbs about weird monsters, and he'll make illustrations. Here's my first attempt; we may be doing something else instead, we'll see. The idea is that each of these posts will be like a chapter from a travelogue from some noble adventurer, or a traveling merchant, like Marco Polo. I'm setting these in the Land of Nog, which is basically a loose fantasy setting that takes place on the face of an incredibly large, incredibly slow moving giant.

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   In my travels through the land of Nog, it foremost stands out in my recollection that never a single night were we at peace from the haunting howls of the Yolbum. Each supper, precisely following sunset would the caterwaul begin—first as a single lone yodel, then followed by a cacophony. Early on our journey, it was a mystery to us, as to where these beasts—whom we presumed to be most fearsome—were hiding, as our first leg took us through the vast expanse of the Face Waste. Nary a tree nor hill stood to conceal their forms, and yet looking out across the pocked earth, one could see nothing, even if the sound seemed to come from only a stone’s toss away.

   It was one night, and, at this point, the yodeling had begun to wane from wondrous to irksome, that I set out, determined to find my first Yolbum, and harangue it for it and its kin’s assault on my ears each night. Thoroughly I sought, late into the night. It was only by high moon, by my count, when I had all but given up, that my foot caught on a hole on the ground. Easy enough to miss, looking out over the uneven ground—even then one could walk right by and mistake it for another of the Waste’s many craterous divots—yet, certainly large enough to twist an ankle of a blundering oaf such as myself. Luckily, I merely scuffed my traveling vest as I fell to the ground.

   On a hunch, I scurried away from the hole, and lay down close to the ground to watch the opening, certain that it would reveal to me my quarry. And indeed it did, only perhaps an hour later. The yodels had waned, for a time, as they sometimes did, only to start up again suddenly with full force. As I listened closely, I could hear the sound approaching, like a reversed echo, until a call sounded from one Yolbum not a mile away. Then, out from the hole before me slithered a long, sinuous creature. Like a worm, and fleshy pink, it unspooled itself into a great pile of flesh on the earth around its den. Along one side, the creature split, all the way down its hairless length, opening up a long, horrible mouth, filled with small blunt teeth, and it bellowed its ponderous howl into the night.

   In a foolish attempt to gain further insight, I stood, and uncovered my torch. The moment the light touched its hideous body, the creature recoiled, slithering its bulk instantly back down into the dark burrow.

Further investigation has revealed this:

- Each Yolbum to emerge from a given hole is a different individual. I speculate they have a vast network of tunnels under the earth.

- My manservant speculated that they consume the earth itself, but whatever they eat, there is, as yet, no explanation for the lack of apparent leavings that must follow.

- Each yodel is subtly different from the last. Either each creature has a unique call, or the ululations of a given call are random. In a letter from my dear wife, she fancied that they were singing lullabies to one another in their strange language, and each song was a unique composition.

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